The DVDs Every Man Should Own

A few weeks ago Short List magazine (shortlist.com) had a feature called "The DVDs Every Man Should Own", and they invited 5 critics from various big-time publications to offer up their top five. Quite why they didn't think to invite me I don't know, but whatever..

The only problem with the feature is that they seemed to have completely mis-communicated the idea to the critics, because some of the options are RUBBISH. I mean honestly, is Mary Poppins a film that every man should own do you think??

So in order to set this gross injustice straight, I have provided my own list. Feel free to read along whilst drinking beer, scratching your nuts and grunting in approvement..

THE (REAL) DVDS EVERY MAN SHOULD OWN

1. The Alien Quadrilogy

You know, I don't know of a single bloke whose life wouldn't be more enriched by the awesome power of Aliens. The Alien Quadrilogy has to be the best DVD set EVER MADE. Firstly you have one of the greatest sci-fi horror films of all time with Alien, Ridley Scott's slow burning masterpiece. Then it's on to Aliens, Jim Cameron's sci-fi action masterpiece - surely in the running for one of the best sequels ever made. Then, while the next two films in the saga aren't nearly as good, they're both fun and enjoyable in their own right - and they still have kick-ass aliens in them!

Weirdly this DVD set is always stupidly cheap with many online retailers. Check out a previous post about it here. Now the Alien Quadrilogy is being sold at HMV for just £9.99 with free delivery. I can't even begin to explain to you how crazy that is - You must buy it!

"GAME OVER MAN... GAME OVER!"

2. Predator Special Edition Collection

Knock Knock! Yet another iconic franchise, with brutal action, iconic monsters and wicked one liners. This 4 disc edition DVD has both Predator 1 and 2 Special Editions in it, and has all kinds of kick-assery. Just note that while both the Alien and Predator franchises make the cut, by no means should the two ever cross! If new films are ever made, then they should only be allowed to be touched by talented directors with a passion for the material - which is why the announcement of Robert Rodriguez's 'Predators' comes as such a cool piece of news!! (Read more here) Damn I can't wait for that one..

"STICK AROUND!"

3. The Terminator Collection

As much as I enjoyed Terminator 3, it by no means hits the classic status of the first two films - which are precisely what you get in this boxset, in special edition form! Arnold Schwarzenegger has never been better, Jim Cameron has never been more balls to the walls, and action and story rarely come together so well. But which is the better? Why, Terminator 2 of course - which I would like to put out there as the greatest action film of all time. Disagree? Comments below please!

GET... OUT!

4. The Star Wars Trilogy

Any bloke worth his mettle should own this series in at least some format, and I would like to suggest the following as the best choice - the entire classic trilogy in one boxset. It has some seriously annoying re-touches and contributions from George Lucas (Gredo shooting first, Hayden fucking Christenson replacing the original Darth Vader ghost!) but you can't knock the overall awesomeness of the Star Wars trilogy. It has everything - heroes, anti-heroes, iconic villains, sage demented puppets, a girl in a gold bikini, explosions(!) lightsabers(!) Jedi's(!) and, er... ewoks. Ignore the second lot of films, which in my opinion are utter wank. Just remember, don't give in to hate!

"I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.."

5. Fight Club Special Edition DVD

The First Rule of Fight Club is...

Ah to hell with it! How can I not talk about it? Fight Club is the ultimate film for all real men out there. For all the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.

So you need a film to reaffirm your own manliness? How can Fight Club not be on the list? Really.. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise..

"THE THINGS YOU OWN END UP OWNING YOU"

So there we have it, the DVDs every man should own! Comments welcome!

- Jimmy